Induction at uni

Yesterday was my induction at uni and I am still tired. I had to be there for 11 and left to walk to the train station at about 9 since it takes 30 mins and I wanted to get there earlier to find the room. I love it when it gets cold because I can wear my winter coat (I love my winter coat). I put it on and headed out and stupid me didn't think about changing into my winter boots. I was wearing ballet pumps and it was only spitting when I left but it was all out POURING 5 mins into my walk so by the time I got to the station I was soaked and dripping. My coat isn't waterproof but thank god it has a water poof. Oh and I got splashed by a car.

I got the fast train which meant I got there 45 mins early. I spoke to some girls who were on the same course as me and we stuck together for the rest of the day. When it was time for our talk, there were many people in yellow shirts at the end of each corridor so asked them for directions and we still ended up in the wrong talk. Luckily the main talk specific to dietetics was after lunch so we were in the right place at the end.

Lessons start on Monday and the day is 9am to 6pm. I feel tired just thinking about it. Honestly, I'm not as eager as I thought I would be but maybe I just need to start properly and see how things go.

I got free pasta and a drink though so that was good.

Starting university

So tomorrow I'll be starting university. I'm kinda nervous but also excited. No one in my family has gone to uni so I feel like this is a big deal. Honestly, I've been bored at home and since I have no job either, I don't really have anything to do. Hence why I started this blog. I have been applying for jobs but haven't been successful yet. I heard yesterday that the place I did Christmas temp work at is hiring so I might take another shot their.

Anyway, back to university. I'm one those people who don't like massive changes but I am working on it. I'm trying to look at this as way to experience new things and that I'm closer to becoming a dietitian (I'm studying dietetics and nutrition at London Metropolitan). I'm actually commuting to uni instead of living there. To be honest, I live about 40 mins away and If I can save money to spend on other things like driving lessons or travelling, I'd rather do that. I only have to go in 3 times a week so hopefully it won't be that bad and the public transport in London is pretty good. What I worry the most about uni is being in the right rooms for my lectures and stuff, I hate being late and then having to draw attention when I enter. It makes me cringe so bad.

Like I said, no one in my family has gone to uni before so I have little idea what to expect. I couldn't really find anything online so I'm planning to blog more about uni for other muslim girls like me. 

I HATED A levels so much, they were the worst 2 years of my life so I'm glad that thy are over. Those 2 years really took out the motivation I had during GCSE's and I'm hoping uni will restore it. I might write a post about my sixth form experience. Anyway, I'm extremely lucky to be on the course I want to be even with lower grades than they wanted so as soon as I step foot in the uni, I rally need to get my act together.

Enjoy the rest of your day :)

TOO MANY COMEBACKS

I'd like to take this moment to pray for kpop fans that support multiple groups like I do because October might just be the death of us.

GOT7

I was just watching the last 20 minutes or so of GOT7's live premiere thing on vlive and I thought they were showing the teaser at the end...BUT THEN IT CARRIED ON. I was caught so off guard, I didn't realise they were going to show us the whole mv before 12AM KST. It was so beautiful. Loved everything about it. (Youngjae's high note though, waaaaa)

MONSTA X

I've discovered Monsta x a few months ago and my favourite song by them would Hero. This is my first Monsta x comeback so I'm excited!! I wouldn't count myself as part of the fandom because I have this weird thing where I need to know the members names first. I don't know why but yeah. Their comeback is on 4th October 12AM KST I believe which is 3rd in England so my sister gets a nice birthday present. 

BTS

Before you read further, watch the comeback trailer first. Back? It was AMAZING right? I'm so proud of Jhope HE KILLED IT (and armys). Singing, dancing and rapping WOW. He has more talent in his little finger than I do in my whole body. BTS are coming back on October 10th and I can't wait!! I swear every comeback I think 'how are they going to do better than their last one?' but they always do.

I also hear Blackpink, NCT, Shinee as well as other groups are coming back in October too. I don't know if I can survive but I do know October will be a month of great music.

On a side note, there is no need for all the hate towards other groups. Spend that energy supporting your faves, not (attempting) to drag other groups and fandoms down because frankly, it reflects bad onto you, your fandom and the artists. I'm sure if the members read some of the comments I've read on twitter, they would feel so much shame knowing you consider yourself as part of their fandom. Didn't really want to end this blog post on a bad note but the issue has really been bugging me. In the words of Shrek 'better out than in I always say'. I don't why I just quoted Shrek but I should go because I need some food, you should get some as well.

KPOP FIGHTING!!!

Makeup Revolution Iconic 3 palette

I think everyone has the one thing they look forward to when they do makeup. Mine is eye makeup. I asked for this palette as an Eid present since I had 2 Makeup Revolution single eyeshadows which I loved so it would be great to have an eyeshadow palette with the same quality (that's what I thought anyway). This palette has 12 shades and said to be a dupe of the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. I can't comment on the quality because I don't own both palettes but from comparing pictures, the shades are very similar. They are even in the same order.



My opinion- Not a fan. I had such high hope since I loved the single shadows so much but this didn't reach my expectations. The mattes are chalky and the shimmers are like chunky glitters. But then again for the price of £4 maybe my expectations were too high. They swatched ok on my arm but when applied to my eye they didn't blend properly and there was SO MUCH fall out (hence my messy palette). I've tried this with and without primer and also tried spraying my brush with setting spray but I just can't make it work. As you can see, the paler shades are patchy but the overall pigmentation of the shadows are ok but some shades don't show up on my brown skin.

When I'm really unhappy with a product, I email the company to let them know. This way it might help them make improvements in their products. Normally I will get a nice response back and some companies have offered me refunds. However, I wouldn't say this about the response I got from TAM beauty (which owns makeup revolution, I think, or something like that).

The reply seems so informal and gives me the impression they don't care. They didn't address me and there isn't even any full stops, but well done on the '-'. I feel like the might as well emailed me 'soz can't do anything now you used it'.

Pros:

• cheap
• nice range of colours

Cons:

• chalky mattes
• chunky shimmers
• hard to blend
• wear off after a few hours, with or without primer
• no mirror
• comes with sponge applicator which hardly anyone uses
• not that pigmented
• strong talc smell

Anyway, no surprises I wouldn't buy this again and wouldn't recommend this to anyone. I'm really hoping I got a dodgy palette because how can the single shadows be so good but the palette is bad??? 

Rimmel moisture renew lipstick (As you want Victoria and Dark knight water-oops)

As well as face masks, I have a slight obsession with lipsticks too. These are my favourite lipsticks out of all the ones I own so I thought I would share them with you.

I have two shades: As you want Victoria and Dark knight water-oops (the names are so unnecessarily long). These are £6.49 from Superdrug and Boots which I think is a decent price for the quality and quantity compared to other lipsticks.
                         
                               
                               As you want Victoria (top) and Dark knight water-oops (bottom)

My opinions: These lipsticks glide on so smoothly onto the lips and leave your lips feel super moisturised. In fact they are so buttery that you can get a bit carried away and cause your hand to slip. However, the colour does have a tendency to cling to dry patches. I also want to mention these have a very faint smell but it doesn't linger. Since these aren't matte, they aren't very long lasting but do leave a subtle stain to the lips. As you can see from the picture below, some colour still remains after I tried to wipe it off with a tissue.

Pros:

• pigmented
• moisturising
• affordable
• has a range of shades
• leaves a stain
• scent doesn't linger

Cons:

• not long lasting

I would definitely buy this again in other shades and recommend this to others.

Pimark 3D mask

So I was in Primark the other day and spotted THIS. I bought it straight away because 1) I love sheet masks and 2) it was only 80p!

This mask reminds a lot of the Tony Moly mask (review here). The smell is quite similar and since the Primark one is manufactured in South Korea they might have the same manufacturers or something like that. 

My opinion: The best thing about this mask is that it's not just your average sheet mask, it has an extra extension for your neck. I feel like the neck get neglected a lot so it's nice that you can treat our face and neck at the same time. Like the Tony Moly mask, the fitting wasn't that good. the eye area was fine but the mouth whole was too small (maybe I just have big lips?). This was well saturated in essence but it also meant the mask had a tendency to slip off my face. I suggesting lying down when using this mask. There was no sticky residue and my skin felt nourished.

Pros:

• soothes skin
• cheap
• skin feels tighter
• skin is brighter and moisturised
• skin is left feeling soft
• nice smell
• has extra neck mask

Cons:

• doesn't sit on face well

I would definitely by this mask again (still can't believe it's only 80p!)

Beauty

Ever since I was young, I never really cared what others thought of my appearance. I was happy to leave my house with my dark circles, blemishes and scars on show. I had good self esteem. But for the past few months I've started to wonder if I was considered beautiful. Of course looks aren't everything and I fully stand by that statement but after hearing the same comments again and again it does bruise your self esteem.

Living in multicultural England, there isn't really a set beauty standard since there are there are all sorts of people. It's when you go to countries like Bangladesh, which I stayed for a whole month, is when you see how look seem to be everything for them.

'Don't you eat?', 'isn't there any food in England?' 'Why do you diet?', 'what's that on your forehead?' 'Why do you have so many spots?' 'Have you been to the doctors to get your face checked?' This is just a few examples of comments I received while a way. People would grab my wrist telling me I should eat more. People would stare at my face. People would maje comments about my appearance before they even said hello to me. While there I wanted to get a few dresses tailored and the tailor constantly complained that I was too skinny. Your job is too tailor clothes to fit people better. I can't change my body to fit the dress so you fix the dress to fit me. All this behaviour is considered 'ok' in Bangladesh though. Like I said earlier, I have good self esteem but hearing it repeatedly gets to your head. When I came back from Bangladesh for a week I was stuffing my face desperately trying to put on weight 'I'm too skinny', 'I need to eat'. A few days later it hit me. I'm happy with the way I looked. I was happy before I went away, why am I doing this? I'll admit I don't have the best diet but I eat proper meals, I just have a high metabolism and I don't put weight on easily. I'm that annoying friend. I don't diet or restrict myself and as I'm happy and healthy who cares if I'm skinny.

Another thing I want to talk about is skin color which is major is Asia. Pale=beautiful, dark=ugly. I'm on the darker side of the spectrum so people said I didn't look like I'm from Bangladesh because I look dead (skinny) and I'm dark. 'You wouldn't be able to tell she's from abroad unless she opened her mouth'. THIS annoys me the most. You can't choose your skin colour. Yes you can tan or lighten your skin but at the end of the day we are judged so heavily on something we can't even control. It's bad enough getting rascist remarks from outside your race but to have people within your race insulting you because of your skin colour? Really? WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM. We should be coming together not moving apart.

Saying all this, what hurts me most is when your own family join in. My aunt would say I'm from the house that doesn't eat, I'm a stick, I'm a giraffe (being 5foot 5 is considered being giant amongst Bengali's). I'm writing this after having an argument with my mum. She told me I should have worn foundation when we went out yesterday. After wearing foundation three times in one week, when usually I go months without it, I wanted to give my skin a rest and just wore powder. But to my mum I looked ugly and should have asked my aunt for foundation. I told her it's not good to share makeup because of bacteria which she responded with 'you would benefit since you would look better it's the other people that will have there stuff contaminated with bacteria'. It made me feel like I was some sort of disease. I was contagious and I shouldn't go near people. I was told I waste money on all this make up that I don't use. But the thing is I do, when I FEEL like it, not for others.  The problem amongst Bengali's is that they care too much what others think. I love makeup but it's no fun if I'm forced to wear it because it's not my choice, it's a chore. After some back and fourth, I made a comment about my mum's cake face and she replied saying 'that's not a nice way of talking to your mum' but calling your daughter ugly isn't very nice either. If your a mum please don't make your child think they are ugly, if they have insecurities about things they should be comfortable to share it with and get support back. My mum suffered from acne herself and to hear her say something like that to me really, really hurts.

I'm sorry if this was a bit all over the place but I'm writing this in my bathroom while crying on and off. I just wanted to end it saying you are beautiful. We all have our weak days were our insecurities take over, I'm having one right now, but at the end of the day you're still beautiful. Everyone has things they would change about themselves but you have to make sure it is for yourself and not for others. As long as you are safe, happy and healthy, the rest can piss off.